whowhatnow | MIND LINK

[It is unlike him to do this in this fashion, but he recognizes the necessity of it. Still, when he reaches out it is unlike the gentle brush of Cathaway, uncolored by emotion, an empty space that seemed to gape, somehow nearly as unsettling as a mind too bare. His words are preceded by the obviousness of his attention, an anticipation, the mental equivalent to clearing his throat. And the words- stony and without warmth or comfort, unyielding and stern. He will not react to interruption. He won't even hear it.]

There are many things to discuss with you. [You- you, all of you, everyone he addressed- the clear knowledge that it was not a personal message, but a shared one.] This mission was a failure. Do not think to see it as anything less. The simplest of exercises intended only to allow those unaccustomed to gain some small experience with unfamiliar places. A harmless excursion.

[There's a pause, like a breath, a cold wind going colder.]

It was my failure that I saw you as anything but children, incapable of understanding that your choices have consequences. It is not a mistake I will make again. Your actions have proven you to be irresponsible, dangerous, and foolish. And as a result one of your own has died, for nothing. Those in his brood have now lost something irreplaceable. Do not imagine this feeling will go, do not imagine this emptiness will be filled by another. It will not. You will never be as strong as you could have been with him.

[It is simple fact, even as they grew they would lend each other strength. Now they had one less to draw from. There was a potential they would never reach.]

Hosts are lost. This is the reality of our situation, but Adam Parker did not die because we sought to strike a blow against the ones who hunt us. He did not even die because he made a foolish mistake. He died because you made a selfish choice. Remember this, your decisions effect more than you. Even your own life is not just yours any longer. You should be at least responsible enough not to drag those who should be able to rely on to their death.

[There is little point to this, he knows. Those that had behaved poorly would not listen to words, and if they had not yet learned a lesson there would be more loss and more suffering before they did. Still, this is too soon for this.]

There will be some time before you will be sent on your first true mission. I suggest you use it to better yourselves, for all of your sake.

[And the connection drops- cleanly as if he had flipped a switch. His mind was still there, as it always was, but distant, uninviting. This was never meant to be a dialogue.]

[The connection drops, and it feels like he's been left on an island in the middle of nowhere, expected to fend for himself. That message was...cold. Business-like, an announcement laced with stern words.]

[He doesn't know what to think, at first. He didn't know Adam well. He wasn't even part of his brood. The first inclination he has is to snap back, ask him why he, of all people, is somehow held partly responsible for his death. He had nothing to do with the guy. What, he got himself killed? Good for him. He doesn't need the lecture.]

[But he reconsiders and bites his tongue, because...well, he has been selfish, hasn't he? He's been selfish for a very, very long time. It's practically ingrained in his cells. He must fend for himself, above everyone else...but things have changed. He's now tied to others. If he makes a decision, it ripples and changes the surface of the entire metaphorical pond.]

[It's something he's still not used to, and Prince's words humble him, slightly...but the insinuation that he's somehow foolish, that he's a child...it doesn't sit right with him. Prince might have a point, yes, but the way he's going about it is totally rubbing him the wrong way.]

At least do something about it. [He finally says back, even though he feels it's very unlikely he'll get a response.] Words are words. Don't just sit there and twiddle your thumbs and expect people to listen. If you think we need to be shown how to do things right, go ahead and do it. Nobody is stopping you.

[It's a petty reply, and he knows it, because he knows Prince pretty much said that he overestimated the group already, and he knows his words are meaningless themselves. But he wants to say something, anything, because it'll push aside the insecurity that has cropped up in him like a pathetic weed. He has to make his voice be heard, somehow. Assert himself, in a place that very desperately wants him to turn completely towards the hive mentality.]

[He doesn't know what to think. And for now, he'll just leave it be. There's no need to press his own sore spots to see if he still hurts.]

[Prince doesn't respond. There are many words he could say snappish responses- Did he need to be taught not to murder? Perhaps he did.

But how did you teach right and wrong other than through words? Through actions? Clearly refraining from needless killing hadn't been enough to impart that wisdom upon them. Usually the connection they all now shared was enough to dull the edges of the outliers. Soften them until they no longer cut. Teach them what pain was, let them learn what it felt like to others, to regret it. But these- It didn't matter. This couldn't be allowed to continue on as it had.

So, let it lie, then.

Except that it had been near enough to an invitation to instruct- if he wanted to be taught, then he would be, even if the thought of continuing on this way leaves him feeling weary already.]

You're not from Earth.

[The reply comes as a surprise. Prince didn't seem like the type of man to follow up with things, but here he is. It takes a quick moment for Nathaniel to figure out how to reply.]

Uh, yes?

[He wracks his mind, trying to figure out what him being not from Earth had to do with the whole "lack of responsibility" lecture from before. It's true, human beings were more empathetic, more likely to lay down their life for their fellow man, but...huh. Maybe that's not what Prince is getting at, at all. He doesn't know, so it's best to ask.]

...What does that have to do with anything?

Edited 2016-04-30 15:28 (UTC)

[The confusion that rises in response to his words is hardly a surprise- it had been a strange segue, a practical non-sequitur. But he has had little time to consider what he would say, and his words always suffered in such times.]

You're not from Earth, but it is where you were rescued from.

[It's a statement of fact, as if he expects Nathaniel to simply glean his meaning from that. But the pause that follows doesn't last long before he continues on.]

You are familiar with different planets, with different societies. You have knowledge of how to function in places that are not your own. You know how to blend in and be innocuous.

[And he had caused no trouble- no severe trouble, at least- on Avera 9. He had used his skills. However-]

This is a skill that will continue to be crucial to your survival. It is not one that all of your fellow Hosts share. It is not one easily taught, in a place such as this.

[You could tell them-observe, mimic, adapt, but they were just words. Enacting them was far different. And there were too many of them for Prince and Cathaway to watch each one at every time- even being off station with them had been unusual.]

Those of you who have that skill should be watching for those who do not. Just as those who have skills you do not possess should be watching for you. This will not work if you attempt to function alone. Do you understand this?

[He listens, and all of it rings true. His urge is to argue, to find something that he can use to say "no, this isn't how it is"...but Prince is correct. Prince has a point, more importantly, and for a moment, Nathaniel doesn't know what to say.]

Oh.

[He has something that others don't have. He has experiences with adapting, with learning new things to change himself into new forms and figures, and as far as he knows, he's the only person like himself out there. He understands that Prince, in his own way, is complimenting him, but also pushing him to do something with his own abilities. He could use it for himself all he wanted, but for others? He...hadn't even considered it before.]

Yeah, I think I do. [His words are casual, but his tone is anything but. He's very serious.] Basically, I'll have to be the one to take things in my own hands, if I want to help the others see and do things they can't see or do on their own...right?

[He is gratified by the silence. It is not typical of this host, even he knows that, and it means he is listening. Thinking. Taking the time to consider. Too many spoke too quickly, acted too quickly. Patience was another thing difficult to teach, but key to survival.]

Correct. [Or correct enough] Cathaway and I will not be there, when you are called away on missions. You will not be alone, but the Hosts who accompany you will have their own responsibilities to attend to. You must care for each other in these times.

[It is not a situation he loves, but he had to stay, when they went. The station had to be guarded, cared for, they had to be ready in case new Hosts arrived. And Cathaway was unusually qualified for the task. His own duty- the training of Hosts- was one he was skilled enough. And so he must stay.]

You must be proactive in this.

[ So... Nate gets to deal with Petre eating an NPC, and then dealing with him sulking a lot?

Anyway. It's been a busy night. Petre returned to the Bearings only to find Parker punching Angel in the face, and having his feelings for Angel amplified after seeing how far her rage could reach. He tried to kiss her, she was confused, he was offended. Now he's sulking and Nate's the only one he can think to go to and forget about it all, knocking on his door with irritation coursing through his thoughts like electricity. ]

Come on. Open up. I promise I won't shoot you this time.

[He can certainly feel that irritation sparking along the mental link like it's a live wire - it's certainly curious. He doesn't know what happened, exactly, but Petre is here and ready to talk, it seems, and Nathaniel is not going to take that opportunity away from him.]

[He opens the door, giving Petre a greeting nod before gesturing for him to come inside.]

Hey, what's up? Rough night, dude?

[ And he walks right on in, a little bit of a stomp in his step, turning around cross-armed to drop down on the bed. ]

It's stupid. Everything is stupid.

[ and i am a literal whiny baby ]

That's the usual state of things, yep.

[He's just going to sit on the edge of the bed, propping his chin up with his hands all expectantly, like he's about to hear some juicy gossip.]

You can tell me what's up. What did you do, drop your ice cream cone on the floor or something?

No.

[ Taking that a little too literally, maybe, but it's as much of an accusation that he's a child, which he likes even less. With a groan, looking away, his reluctance draws out for just another second before the rant rolls down a hill. ]

Like, so, Angel went partying, right? And I guess she got drunk or whatever, and when she got back this bitch in the kitchen punched her for no apparent reason. Parker. I almost killed her. [ Not really. But he wanted to. That counts, right. ] Anyway, I'm all pissed off, Angel gets pissed off, and like, I've never seen her like that before. It was -

[ Amazing. But how does he find the right word without turning himself into a wuss. ]

I liked it.

[ There we go. ]

Then I took her back to her room, and - I don't know, I kissed her, I guess. Then she got all weird on me, even though she said she likes me. What the fuck is up with that?

[ ... you know nothing petre snow ]

[This is the kind of terrible gossip he's into. He leans forward, enraptured, eyes almost glinting with amusement. This is good. This is SO good.]

You kissed Angel, and you liked it. [He laughs.] Ohhhhhh man. That's the best thing I've ever heard, Petre. I mean, not for you, obviously, but here's what it sounds like, dude.

[He grins wide.] I just don't think she's that into you, Petre, sad to say. Like, not in a kissing way, you get me?

[ wowowow Nate ]

How the fuck is it the best thing you've heard?

[ Do you want him to punch you. He'll make you hurt as much as his ego is right now. ]

Why not? She should. She's always talking about how she cares about me, how important I am. You can't tell me that this isn't what we're supposed to do.

[ he watched too much tv ]

Because this is a beautiful learning opportunity for you, Petre. You're starting to learn the ever so complicated world of...romance.

[He says, whispering the last word dramatically.]

She should? Well, let's see...are you absolutely, one hundred percent sure, that she's into guys? Like, just because she appreciates your existence doesn't mean she wants to bang you.

What the fuck, Nate.

[ Of course she's into guys!! Or so that's what he wants to say. And then doesn't. Because he actually hadn't even considered that. Couldn't she just be into him? ]

I didn't say I wanted to bang her. You're so weird.

Uh, news flash, Petre. Kissing is a beautiful and intimate thing. Like, I don't think so, I'll kiss whoever I want, but some people, like Angel, probably thinks it means you want to get involved with them. They want to save kissing for people they want to do the do with, you know?

[He lets out a laugh - ah, Petre. Ever so naive.]

Basically, some people are very picky about who they kiss! So, she probably just hasn't chosen you as the lucky kiss recipient.

Also, maybe she thinks you're not a good kisser? Have you kissed anyone before?

Edited 2016-11-13 01:06 (UTC)

[ He is frowning. He is frowning so much, Nate. What is this logic you're giving him? It's like, totally stupid. Make it go away. ]

She should have. I'm supposed to be special.

[ Wehhhhh ]

... No. But that doesn't have to do with anything; of course I'm a good kisser.

[TOO BAD, PETRE, LOGIC IS HERE TO STAY]

Well, you are special. But you're just not the right kind of kisser.

[He arches an eyebrow at that last statement - his mouth goes up in a mischievous smirk.]

Are you sure about that? How many people have you kissed?

That's a stupid question.

[ Internal groan. Don't you make him question his kissing skills, it might hurt his ego. ]

Why is it stupid? If you're not so good at it, you can't get people to kiss you.

[He leans his chin on his hand, smiling like the Cheshire Cat.]

You would need practice, you know.

[ Who knew such a shitheel could, in fact, be this naive. ]

I already told you, she didn't like it when I kissed her. So how the fuck am I going to practice.

[OhhhHHHH boy. Nate really is trying his best to be as casual about this as possible. He shrugs.]

...Well, uh, you could always practice with me.

[

]

Yeah, right. [ SNORT. ] Because you're totally a good kisser.

What? You're questioning how I kiss people?

[He clutches his chest, pretending to be offended.]

Petre, I've had years of practice. Really, plant one on me, if you want me to prove you wrong.

[ He gives Nate a side-glance. For a couple of seconds there's the clear belief that he's shitting Petre. They haven't had a relationship that comes even close to Petre's and Angel's, which is what he assumes is necessary to engage in that kind of physical contact.

He's so much more used to delivering a punch.

So after a moment of silence, ]

... No. You do it.

Really?

[He smiles. There's a pause, before he shifts himself closer, moving himself so that his face is only an inch away from Petre's face. His eyes are very dark.]

Well, you asked.

[He says, in a whisper, before he finally, victoriously, closes the distance between them, capturing Petre's lips with a smile. He goes for gold - he aims to give Petre a taste of what an intimate kiss really is like, and so doesn't make it light and chaste whatsoever.]

[ It's a weird game of chicken, where he's not sure whether he's calling Nate's bullshit or if he's just trying to convince himself he's not a wuss who can't kiss anyone but Angel. But the other guy just keeps coming closer with a wicked smile, then follows through with a promise that almost sounded like a threat.

Petre can work with threats, though. Threats are a rush of adrenaline, promises are a waiting game.

In any case, Petre freezes like a dog licking lemon for the first time. Sure, it's awful and makes the canine recoil, but about a second later it repeats the mistake just to make sure it really was that bad.

With a muffled little noise, eyes shut and brows creased, he stumbles around the kiss helplessly. Like he'd confessed, it's something he's never done before, and doesn't have the slightest clue of how he has to part his lips and let Nate's tongue prod at his own.

What the fuck, why is this so complicated. Romance sucks. ]

[A few more seconds pass as Nathaniel savors the kiss, and then he pulls back. Petre definitely wasn't an expert in this kind of stuff. But that's hardly anything to worry about. Honestly, he's had worse. He's been worse, back when he was still getting the hang of how human lips worked.]

[He's still smiling as he reaches forward to pat Petre on the cheek, looking expectantly for Petre's reaction.]

So? How was it?

[ Petre's ears are red - hotter than usual, for people who've had the chance to feel how unusually warm he is all the damn time. Nate might see it, he might not, but there's a twist to his mouth like he can't decide if he hated it because of the alien, or because of himself.

As for the question: ]

Retarded. No wonder I don't kiss people.

( Nate. )

[ The press of fingertips to the back of Nate's neck, a mind like a knife. Ever so curious, and willing to pry. ]

[With anyone else approaching him like that, he'd be wary, taken back, but he knows exactly who this is - there's a sense of coyness as he replies, his smirk almost audible in his thoughts:]

(Nathaniel Horn speaking. How may I take your order, oh Dark One?)

( I apologize for not being able to catch you at the party.

You looked absolutely lovely. )

[ he's dealt with flirtatious nobility, so being hit on by a shapeshifting alien is New but Familiar. ]

( Have you returned to the Bearings, yet? )

[He's certainly flattered by that.]

(You think so? Good. I wanted all eyes on me, including yours.)

[He chuckles - ah, Darkling, just keep doing what you're doing. Natheniel will flirt as much as his little alien heart wants.]

(I just did, you caught me just in time. Why, want an after party with yours truly?)

( Actually, I do. )

[ regarding ALL of it. ]

( I hope I'm not interrupting anything. )

(Not at all.)

[This is the best possible outcome to this, he's honestly happy about it.]

(Want me to bring the party to you? Or do you want to come over yourself?)

Edited 2016-11-17 04:54 (UTC)

( I'll come to you. Your room?

I've something I want to discuss. )

[ namely: nate's neat shapeshifting powers, okay. ]

(Sure thing. I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere.)

[When the Darkling arrives, Nathaniel is already waiting at the door. He has already changed out of his dress, now dressed in something more comfortable - a t-shirt and pants. His hair is back to it's usual short length. However, he still hasn't taken off his makeup yet, namely his dark eye shadow and blue lipstick.]

[When he hears the footsteps outside, he'll open the door, smiling wide.]

Ready for a party, my man?

I wanted to apologize, for what happened the other day.

[ It's not the only thing, but it's the first thing.

While his hair is still an absolute mess - strange, for a man so meticulous about his appearance, he's dressed down. A handsome outfit traded out for a long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants. Discovering sweatpants had been an Experience, to say the least. Feet bare, he pauses just outside of Nate's room, a hand on the door's frame. ]

We weren't quite able to do what it is we'd set out to.

[ science. ]

Ah, it wasn't your fault. [He says, with a wave of his hand.] You shouldn't apologize! I mean, Ilde should've knocked, but hey, we got something started, right?

[He definitely gives the Darkling a lookover - he definitely approves of the comfortable look - and steps back, gesturing with a nod of his head that the Darkling should come in.]

Want to continue, then? [His voice almost sounds on the edge of a purr. Nathaniel, it's just science. No need to make this weird.] What weird and wonderful things do you want me to do for you?

I was hoping you'd say that.

[ He knows, quite well, that Nate has a habit of being coquettish in attitude and conversation. There's no harm in letting him be himself, he feels. It isn't as though he craves the attention, he's simply a firm believer that people should be allowed to be. Even if "people" are "flirty aliens", tbh. Nate is simply too interesting a creature to be put off from. Even if he wants to be weird over science, ok!! ]

Why this form, specifically, Nate?

[ Ah, right to the crux of it. ]

I...what?

[His smile falters - that is not what he was expecting the Darkling to say, and from his expression it's like he's an actor on stage that has momentarily tripped over a prop, losing his character for a brief moment.]

[It's a question that Nathaniel Horn doesn't like answer, since it is the very reason why he even has the name "Nathaniel Horn" in the first place.]

Well, that's a personal question! [He says, with a laugh - the actor gets up, smiles to the audience, slips back in under his mask.] On Earth, the planet I was living on, they don't take very kindly to things that don't look human. They're terrified of them. So I had to fit in, somehow.

[A pause sits in the air uncomfortably.]

And, well, this form wasn't taken, so...

I was looking for a personal answer. I'll even trade you. One for another.

[ If that wasn't obvious, he makes it so. Though Nate's jovial manner falters, he still settles himself at the foot of his bed, bold as you like, and regards him with an easy smile of his own. Honestly, it's difficult for a man who's been wearing masks all his life to not notice the seams and cracks. ]

I am from Ravka, not Earth. I have lived next to myth and monster alike, and I've taken quite kindly to you.

[ He won't pressure Nate, though. That would be an unkindness. ]

Ravka? Not a world I know of, and I've seen several.

[He focuses on that answer gladly, happy to have anything from Darkling so that he can move the conversation away from him and his stolen face. It's not that he feels bad about what he did. He's just worried about what other people might think of him for doing it in the first place.]

Have you? [He lets out a laugh - honestly, he feels a bit touched.] I mean, last time, you just couldn't keep your hands off of me...

[ The offer still stands, bruh. ]

It is the country I came from. The world is vaster still than Ravka, but my heart belongs with it.

[ Snow and gold. The whirling skirts of an army both deadly and esteemed. The value of status, and the hunger for something better and bigger than what one has. There are pyres, in the distance, ill memories that sit heavy in his heart. A vast, dark ocean. A beautiful hart, bleeding out in the snow - frosted forests, a hut brewing with hidden warmth on the edge of a palatial estate. A woman in black, now old, once painfully beautiful - her hands combing through his hair while humming a lullaby. ]

Can you blame me? [ For all his touching. ] I'm curious by nature.

...It looks beautiful.

[It doesn't look fun, but it's interesting. Nate can settle for interesting. He almost wants to wind through those forests, become a shadow in the middle of that estate. Just take it all in, like it's a museum.]

[He shifts closer, letting a hand carelessly settle on the Darkling's shoulder.]

There's a saying on Earth. "Curiosity killed the cat". [His mouth opens, his smile almost a little toothy to be comfortable. To tell the Darkling, or not to tell him? He doesn't know. He doesn't want to, but this attention is something he really does crave.] Are you sure you want to try to get a handle on something like me?

[ TBH IT'S NOT VERY FUN. Remind him to show you the parties, though. ]

Do I resemble a cat to you?

[ Nate, pls. The contact aside, if attention is all that this toothy fleshbeast child needs, that's not something that's difficult to provide. He rises, not because Nate's laid a hand on him, but because at this distance, he's very aware that there's makeup left on his face from the party. He returns to the bedside, once he's retrieved a washcloth -- a nice gesture, though he doesn't know if it's necessary. ]

If you're concerned over my reactions towards what you choose share, you could always show me your favorite shape from a far-off world.

Maybe you do. I'd bet you'd look nice with some ears.

[He lets out a bright bout of laughter at that mental image and watches as Darkling walks away, only to come back with a towel. He arches an eyebrow, uncertain what it means, but then lifts a hand to his face - ah, it must be for that, huh?]

Oh, man, that's so hard! I have too many favorites! [But he does cock his head to the side, thinking over it.] Actually, ooh, let me show you one...

[He grins a wide, bright grin as his skin darkens and thickens, facial features sinking in and disappearing from view as small grooves and cracks move throughout his skin - there's an inner bright blue glow that starts to come from within him, bright as bright can be, and his body audibly crunches as it bulks out. His skin almost looks like obsidian now, his head becoming smaller, a glowing circle akin to an eye staring down at the Darkling. He's not big enough to tear his clothes, but he's definitely no spring chicken of a human being, either. His hands are now giant sickle-like blades that he crosses in front of himself.]

[In fact, he looks a bit like a medium-sized glowing golem of sorts.]

(Saw these ones a long time ago! They're really shy though, which is a shame. They look amazing.)

Edited 2016-11-22 21:46 (UTC)

[ While they talk, he keeps himself busy by cleaning Nate's face of his makeup, with the ease of a man who's taken it off others before. Genya, he thinks of first and foremost, when she was too tired, too heartsick, to do anything other than hold locks of hair in her hands and cry. Regardless of the skill, there is something casual in the way he runs the washrag over Nate's eyelid, bidding him to close it with the click of his tongue. And the vague echo of a smile on his lips, when Nate pursues the thought of

cat ears.

The Darkling very nearly bids him to start anywhere, as they have an indeterminable amount of time to work their way through the extent of Nate's shapeshifting skills, when the strange alien goes and does just that - transforming himself into something as utterly foreign to the Darkling as Nate himself had been. And, if there had been little to no hesitation in the way he'd touched Nate when he was nothing but flesh and teeth, it's the same here -- carefully passing his hand over one of the bladed extensions as he studies this new form. ]

I'm envious. You seem to have seen a great number of strange and lovely creatures.

[ More than him, in all his years. ]

Do you just have to see them, to become them? Does it take study?

CHANGE turn and face the strange	FUN is a form of freedom
REBEL without a cause	FREE TO BE ME but at what cost?

MIND LINK

Day 165, mid-morning

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backtagged to really late after the parade

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ableism

idk when this is, probably post!party??

WORKS FOR ME

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